“Feedback is the breakfast of champions.” –Leadership expert Ken Blanchard.

Well, if that’s true, there are a lot of us going hungry.

Feedback, I have realized, is something we came to rely upon as kids. Grade cards every 9 weeks. Four square, kickball, tag, P-I-G. Participation trophies. Accomplishment certificates. Scout patches. Diplomas. The feedback never stopped. I knew quickly whether I left my bowl on the counter. My brother let me know.

My athletic participation provided constant feedback until my early 20s but then, I noticed that things fell eerily silent. Adults don’t have grade cards. Sales numbers or job reviews may be the new grade card but, on a daily basis, am I the only one who wonders if I am doing the right things to move my career to the next level or to provide what my children need from me?

Of course, there are many ways we feel feedback from those close to us, but sometimes we don’t share our thoughts very well or often and dare we ever ask for feedback? One relationship expert I heard said he and his wife talk each Sunday night. They ask each other for feedback on a scale of 1-10 to answer “How am I doing as a husband/wife?” Anything less than a 10 calls for further clarification and conversation.

But, in work, do we know how we are doing? Do we ask? Or do we just guess?

I can spend an hour on the phone with a client and hang up unsure if I made an impact. I can prepare for hours and sweat over a 2- hour workshop only to receive survey feedback from 5 out of 30 attendees. What did the other 25 think? I guess “no response” IS their feedback. And, it “sounds” sort of bad, but they seemed engaged during the workshop. How do I know?

Feedback is necessary for all of us to grow and develop but we often hold back with our comments, good or bad, toward others. So what we crave, we really don’t offer, either.

We share our opinions with those close to us, but we never tell our pastor how impactful his Sunday sermon was. Now there’s a job to wonder about because rarely is a Sunday morning filled with applause. Feedback for breakfast? Our pastors are starving…….

Feedback is what we all need to grow and to change. It’s so necessary, that the Fox News app on my phone pops up a screen BEFORE I read the news, asking how I like the app? Well, FOX, I don’t know yet…..I haven’t even seen the app and I can’t see the app because of the pop up screen blocking my view….but THEY STILL WANT TO KNOW!

Do you?

There’s a child-behavior theory that says that the best way to parent children is to “catch them being good” vs. telling them all the things they are doing wrong. One way focuses on the negative. The other way focuses on encouraging a repeat of their commended behavior.

What if we all set out to provide feedback to someone daily? To catch someone around us being helpful, positive, and good at what they do? If we all pledged to make a few positive comments to help encourage and inspire, we could improve the world around us.

And if you occasionally need to share negative feedback, that’s okay, too, because here’s the brutal truth. Sometimes negative feedback is just what we need because:
“Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.” – Bill Gates