“The strongest steel is forged by the fires of hell. It is pounded and struck repeatedly before it’s plunged back into the molten fire. The fire gives it power and flexibility, and the blows give it strength. Those two thing make the metal pliable and able to withstand every battle it’s called upon to fight.” – Sherrilyn Kenyon

Sometimes life presents us with pain.  We, to a large degree, choose how to deal with that pain. To be successful, productive and constantly progressing in the world of achievement and purpose requires that we develop the mechanisms and fortitude to drive through the pain and not be satisfied until we reach that superlative outcome. Pain has the potential of becoming the inspiration driving us to forge a straighter trail.

You may currently be experiencing pain. Physical, emotional or spiritual pain. It may mean rehabilitation or adjustment… but pain definitely should never signal an end to the quest for the glories of life.

The onslaught of pain does mean it is time to cope. Time to drive. A time to search for alternative techniques, mechanisms, pathways and maybe, support and help. It’s true with all pain circumstances, if you are to be the person you want and deserve to be—you need to learn to cope. Coping with the pain is necessary to excel in your sport, your work, your relationship, your health, and the many opportunities to achieve your life purpose.

The personal defeats counted and charged against pain are caused by all nature of physical, emotional and spiritual circumstances:  circumstances of weakness, injury, discomfort, loss, ineptness, discouragement, criticism, failure, lack of preparation—all painful as a circumstance, and all circumstances that if not dealt with head-on will keep you from your goals and aspirations.

Some in our current culture have been labeled the “Teacup Generation”—fragile, unable to deal with adversity, easily staggered, quick to blame and breakneck to quit and give up. Any type of  “pain” is the trigger-pull for individuals with this character dynamic to cave-in. Don’t let that be your moniker.

Those that have grown beyond this “Teacup” stereotype understand that the real deal is that pain is a message—we want to embrace it.  It’s not healthy to anesthetize all pain. We need to cope with it. Avoidance is not coping. Developing the ability to cope allows us to overcome and excel in the face of higher and higher levels of pain, suffering, difficulty, and discomfort.  Coping with pain consecrates us for success.

While no one should suffer the affliction or need to bear extreme pain, we should expect and confront that occasional, moderate pain. This is not a conversation about chronic or extreme pain and the effectiveness of pain management and specialty clinics. This is a conversation about the pain that is a constant part of life and achievement.

To expect a life without pain is unrealistic — a laying-down surrender.  Pain is a message that we must recognize and confront, relying on our coping mechanisms to forge our strength and flexibility.

Physical pain is the easiest to recognize—unyielding in its presence and efficient in its ability to render us helpless.  Pain in the form of muscle burn.  Joint ache. Exhaustion. Pain is an actual life process; resolve to deal with it.

Emotional and spiritual pain, like physical pain,  is just as real and a cause of ruin.

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” – Laurell K. Hamilton

Life deals its ups and downs and pain is an inevitable part of life. We expect to feel pain for a while – it’s normal. Experts that have studied the coping mechanisms of emotional and spiritual pain urge us to realize that the first step in taking control is to realize the pain is real… Whether we pray, or meditate. Take time for yourself… Deal with emotional pain as if it were physical pain; thinking of a broken heart just as if it were a arm that is broken and takes time to heal… Let someone who cares put his or her arm around you and help… Feel your feelings, think your thoughts, but realize they’re just feelings and thoughts… Know you have the right to feel sorry for yourself – for 10 minutes. Then move on… Remember you are greater than any hard time; you have a past and a future… Always take responsibility for your actions, and your part of whatever went wrong… Never blame… Even very painful times can be used to learn better coping skills and to develop wisdom that will help you deal with difficulties in the future… Always be able to focus on what you are thankful for and to.

On the physical side of pain there are many mental tricks recommended by experts and used by elite athletes to help you to cope with pain in competition and training. Paraphrased below are six mental tricks described by sports psychologists, Raymond J. Petras, Ph. D., Jim Taylor, Ph. D., and Kay Porter, Ph. D.:

1.  Concentrate on Your Strengths and Ability to Cope

Researchers at the University of Illinois recently reported that athletes who believed they could tolerate leg-muscle pain performed better in a running test than those who doubted their ability to withstand pain.

2.  Compete with Purpose

Focus on your rationale for training. And hurting.  Tell yourself, “I’m working this hard because…” and then fill in your performance goal.

3.  Repeat a Personal Mantra

If you connect pain with a negative emotion, you’ll feel more pain. Connect it with a positive thought, and you’ll feel less.  Create a positive affirmation you can call upon during tough painful times.

4.  Know It Will Pass

Seasoned athletes know that pain is not always related to an injury and is often fleeting.  This knowledge is sometimes enough to help ride out the discomfort. During difficult moments, put the pain in perspective. Remind yourself that the discomfort is temporary and you are getting closer to your goal. Research has even shown that pain is often purely in your head and not an accurate signal of physical distress.

5.  Think of the Payoff

Try not to get too emotionally involved with the pain or get upset when you feel it. Simply use pain as information. Ask yourself where the pain is and why it’s happening. And if it’s not related to an injury, then acknowledge that this could be an indication that what you’re doing is going to help you reach your goal.

6.  Distract Yourself

Focus on something else while also staying in the moment. Find a way to channel pain by focusing on everything that is going on around you.

Pain—You can either lie down letting it defeat you, or you can use it to motivate you towards greater achievements.

 

“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.”

Kenji Miyazawa