The hard truth is that MANY top athletes fail to reach their performance peak. The physical specimens who can run faster, jump higher, start quicker, have crazy flexibility and a “six-sense” of where the ball is going next, actually may be at the greatest risk of FAILING. Yes, FAILING – failing to reach their full potential.
They will be good by many of the world’s standards. Yes. For sure. But they often won’t be AS GOOD AS THEY COULD HAVE BEEN.
Why, you ask? Well, here’s why:
Because that incredible physical talent often translates into early success. It means they dominate as a 10-, 12- or 14-year old. It means they get praise for their talent early, and they believe they are, in many ways, “special.” They learn to expect certain things: Certain results; certain outcomes; certain perks and, maybe – though not all, of course – take certain short cuts – because THEY CAN.
Depending on the sport, if they can overpower an opponent in their early years, why should they bother to TRULY develop tactical or strategic knowledge?? (They develop some tactical knowledge, yes, but not as much as the slighter, less-talented guy next to them, I argue.)
When you can hit a tennis ball through an opponent, why learn to hit the “right” shot, from a strategic and high percentage perspective? It’s hard to convince them of the need for the shot, when there isn’t a NEED for the shot….
When you can leap over a Volkswagen, as the story goes for Bo Jackson, why learn the finer points of how to maneuver between two linemen? (Someday, even Bo-like talents will need that maneuvering skill, and, at that point, it may be too late to change a habit/to rewire the brain. Was that Tim Tebow’s problem??)
And with success breeds pride and expectation. And EXPECTATION breeds PRESSURE!! And pressure, if not put in its proper perspective, can lead to an unsavory soup of stress and anxiety.
It goes like this: 10 year old wins…a lot, beating most of the kids his age and he finds justification, in his mind (or his parent’s minds), as to why he loses, WHEN he loses.
“That kid has been playing longer than I have.”
“It was so windy and cold that I could barely swing the club…”
“Those refs called a terrible game and could you believe that call at the end?”
“Well, she DID sleep over at a friend’s house last night….”
Excuses are defense mechanisms. We hate failure, so we reduce the tension by explaining it away instead of accepting it. That’s shortsighted, and where is the fun in excuse-making??? Where is the joy in the fight? Where’s the fun of just playing the game? In case you forgot, FUN was the impetus to starting playing anyway.
Where is the realization that winning AND losing are both good things? Think about it. Losing has great benefits. Maybe more good things come from the losses than the wins! Game-time pressure challenges your problem solving skills, and it gives you a chance to find a new level of patience and perseverance and respect for yourself and for your opponent(s). Good competition can spur personal growth, resilience, emotional intelligence, innovation, patience, and drive, if handled well. OR….the pressure to win can create that unsavory soup of anxiety that involves stomach aches, headaches and bad sportsmanship when a loss is imminent. And an excuse, rather than the acceptance of responsibility.
News flash: IT REALLY SHOULDN’T BE ALL ABOUT THE WINNING.
“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory or defeat.”
Teddy Roosevelt
As the boys of summer start their season in a week, we are reminded of the joy of the game. The crack of the bat and the 7th inning stretch with a little song and dance? Harry Carey believed it was fun. The excitement of opening day. The game is so fun that players play and spectators spectate 162 times each summer.
Now THAT’S JOY……Unless the pressure has taken the joy hostage.
A very talented former pro baseball player admitted to me that he probably relied on his athleticism too much and failed to play with the right mindset. It took him quite a while to come to a level of belief in himself that matched his physical prowess. And that talented athlete isn’t alone with his slight bit of regret for not reaching his full potential. Countless others athletes can say that they reached VERY high levels, but they failed to reach their HIGHEST level, because they were their own enemy in one of the several ways listed above.
The end result, the final outcome, the who’s the winner vs. who’s the loser equation is NOT the ONLY way to measure success. Grasp this concept for yourself and then teach your kids to cherish athletics for the opportunity they provide to help them grow into healthier, happier competitors and, ultimately, stronger individuals, on and off the field of play.
Let’s start the baseball season and all the high school sports this spring with a new perspective: Play for the joys of sports competition, the growth and learning opportunities it provides, as well as for health, wellbeing and good ol’ fun. What’s your reason for competing??
“It’s a great day
for a ball game;
let’s play two!“
– Ernie Banks