What are you passionate about?

I remember when my friend Betty said she loved to ask that question at parties. She said it often stumped people. She said they squirmed, asked what she meant by “passion” and fumbled around until the conversation often ended up to be very insightful.

Insightful, often, more for the “questionee”, than the “questioner.”

Why is it that people aren’t sure what they are passionate about?

The word “passion” is somewhat intimidating. It’s not really similar to words such as “like” or “enjoy.” “Passion” means something deeper. Something to really stand for.  Webster says it’s a feeling that is so strong that you “do” something and sometimes you “do” something that is dangerous.

Danger or not, what are you passionate about? Can you answer the question? What moves you off the couch regularly? What subject can get your tone of voice and pace of speech up a notch, just by its very mention?

There is a psychological model that might help you out. It’s called the Johari Window. The model explains that there are four parts of self:

• The OPEN self: We know this part of ourselves and others do, too, because we share with them.

• The BLIND self:  The part is what is known to others but not to ourselves. What our recorded voice sounds like to us is one element of this, but there are others. Your parents may seem to know more about you than you do. Your
  spouse may truly know you in ways you don’t really know yourself. Sometimes we have feelings of inadequacy or sensitivity that we don’t admit to ourselves, though our close friends know these truths.

• The HIDDEN self: What we keep inside and don’t share. These can be facts, feelings, desires, etc. We share only what we choose to share. The door to this part of your “self” only opens from the inside; you control the flow of information — or not.

• The UNKNOWN self. What would you do under duress? How will you respond under stress? In a car accident? What will the future bring? We don’t know and neither does anyone around us.

But the ultimate lesson from this is that the ONLY way we reveal much of ourselves and honestly share with others is to make the decision to OPEN ourselves up. People can guess what we are thinking, but they will never be sure if we don’t share.

We need to experience life as social beings and not as islands to be healthy, according to all social science today. Studies have shown that people who have few friends are more susceptible to illness. How, I ask? They aren’t exposed to other’s germs, so how do they get sick?

“People with very few social ties have nearly twice the risk of dying of from heart disease and are twice as likely to catch colds – even though they are less likely to have the exposure to germs that come from frequent social contact,” states Tom Rath and Jim Harter in their book, Wellbeing.

The science just proves it. Friends matter. And friends aren’t friends, if we don’t share.

Darren Hardy said in his blog “The Art of Chitchat”:

“It’s up to me to make the conversation interesting…the key is to be ready with interesting and inquisitive questions. Anyone who knows me knows I am always asking questions (and it isn’t about Britney Spears or Snoop Dog news). The key is to have a series of great and insightful questions ready.”

Guess my friend Betty read Darren’s blog before I did.

And, for the record, I’m passionate about learning something new every day.

Source: http://darrenhardy.success.com/2013/12/how-to-chitchat/