“The only way around is through.”
Robert Frost
Author, sociologist and consultant B J Gallagher asked an important question in her book, WHO ARE “THEY” ANYWAY:
ARE YOU A WHINER … OR A WINNER?
Whiners: |
Winners: |
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| Say: “I should do X …” | Say: “I want to do X …” | ||
| Say: “These people are driving me crazy!” | Say: “I control my own feelings. I’m not going to let these people get to me.” | ||
| Are focused on what is wrong with others. | Are focused on how they can deal effectively with others. | ||
| Think: “How can I get through this?” | Think: “What can I get from this?” | ||
| Spend energy reacting. | Spend energy being proactive. | ||
| Say: “I’m swamped! I’ll never get all this work done! | Say: “I’m going to prioritize my work and do the most important things first.“ | ||
| Thought patterns and self-talk lead to fatigue and resignation. | Thought patterns and self talk lead to action. | ||
| Complain: “This job is awful.” | Assert: “I’m going to have to be very creative to find a way to enjoy this job … or at least not hate it.” | ||
| Are focused on what is wrong with the situation. | Are focused on what they can do in this situation. | ||
| Sigh: “I’m so confused – I’ll never get the hang of this.” | Affirm: “There’s a lot here I don’t understand. I’ve got a lot of questions about this. This is going to be a real challenge.” | ||
| Lament: “I keep making mistakes – I hate this!” | Reframe: “This is harder than I thought. I can see I’ve still got a lot to learn.” | ||
| Use language of reaction. | Use language of creation. | ||
| Feel powerless. See power and control as being outside themselves. | Feel personal power. See power and control as being inside themselves. | ||
| Sees no choices at all. | Sees choices in everything. | ||
| Sees only one side of things. | Sees both sides, or all sides. | ||
| Say: “I coulda, woulda, shoulda …” | Say: “I did it!” | ||
In simplest terms, a leader is one who knows where he wants to go, and gets up and goes. John Erskine